How Tristram Befooled Dinadan
Never were two happier lovers than Tristram and Isolde at Joyous Gard.
Their days were spent in feasting and merriment, Isolde's heart
overflowing with joy to be free from the jealousy of her ill-tempered
spouse, and Tristram's to have his lady love to himself, far from
treacherous plots and murderous devices.
Every day Tristram went hunting, for at that time men say he was the
best courser at the chase i
the world, and the rarest blower of the
horn among all lovers of sport. From him, it is said, came all the
terms of hunting and hawking, the distinction between beasts of the
chase and vermin, all methods of dealing with hounds and with game, and
all the blasts of the chase and the recall, so that they who delight in
huntsmen's sport will have cause to the world's end to love Sir Tristram
and pray for his soul's repose.
Yet Isolde at length grew anxious for his welfare, and said,--
"I marvel that you ride so much to the chase unarmed. This is a country
not well known to you, and one that contains many false knights, while
King Mark may lay some plot for your destruction. I pray you, my dear
love, to take more heed to your safety."
This advice seemed timely, and thereafter Tristram rode in armor to the
chase, and followed by men who bore his shield and spear. One day, a
little before the month of May, he followed a hart eagerly, but as the
animal led him by a cool woodland spring, he alighted to quench his
thirst in the gurgling waters.
Here, by chance, he met with Dinadan, who had come into that country in
search of him. Some words of greeting passed between them, after which
Dinadan asked him his name, telling his own. This confidence Tristram
declined to return, whereupon Dinadan burst out in anger.
"You value your name highly, sir knight," he said. "Do you design to
ride everywhere under a mask? Such a foolish knight as you I saw but
lately lying by a well. He seemed like one asleep, and no word could be
got from him, yet all the time he grinned like a fool. The fellow was
either an idiot or a lover, I know not which."
"And are not you a lover?" asked Tristram.
"Marry, my wit has saved me from that craft."
"That is not well said," answered Tristram. "A knight who disdains love
is but half a man, and not half a warrior."
"I am ready to stand by my creed," retorted Dinadan. "As for you,
sirrah, you shall tell me your name, or do battle with me."
"You will not get my name by a threat, I promise you that," said
Tristram. "I shall not fight till I am in the mood; and when I do, you
may get more than you bargain for."
"I fear you not, coward," said Dinadan.
"If you are so full of valor, here is your man," said Tristram, pointing
to a knight who rode along the forest aisle towards them. "He looks
ready for a joust."
"On my life, it is the same dull-plate knave I saw lying by the well,
neither sleeping nor waking," said Dinadan.
"This is not the first time I have seen that covered shield of azure,"
said Tristram. "This knight is Sir Epinegris, the son of the king of
Northumberland, than whom the land holds no more ardent lover, for his
heart is gone utterly out to the fair daughter of the king of Wales.
Now, if you care to find whether a lover or a non-lover is the better
knight, here is your opportunity."
"I shall teach him to grin to more purpose," said Dinadan. "Stand by and
you shall see."
Then, as the lover approached, he cried,--
"Halt, sir knight, and make ready to joust, as is the custom with errant
knights."
"Let it be so, if you will," answered Epinegris. "Since it is the custom
of you knight-errant to make a man joust whether he will or no, I am
your man."
"Make ready, then, for here is for you."
Then they spurred their horses and rode together at full speed, Dinadan
breaking his spear, while Epinegris struck him so shrewd a blow that he
rolled upon the earth.
"How now?" cried Tristram. "It seems to me that the lover has best
sped."
"Will you play the coward?" queried Dinadan. "Or will you, like a good
knight, revenge me?"
"I am not in the mood," answered Tristram. "Take your horse, Sir
Dinadan, and let us get away from here, where hard blows are more
plentiful than soft beds."
"Defend me from such fellowship as yours!" roared Dinadan. "Take your
way and I will take mine. We fit not well together."
"I might give you news of Sir Tristram."
"Sir Tristram, if he be wise, will seek better company. I can do without
your news, as I have had to do without your help," and he rode on in
high dudgeon.
"Farewell, then," cried Tristram, laughing. "It may happen we shall soon
meet again."
Tristram rode back in much amusement to Joyous Gard, but on coming near
he heard in the neighboring town a great outcry.
"What means this noise?" he asked.
"Sir," he was told, "a knight of the castle has just been slain by two
strangers, and for no other cause than saying that Sir Lancelot was a
better knight than Sir Gawaine."
"Who would dispute that?" said Tristram. "It is a small cause for the
death of a good man, that he stands for his lord's fame."
"But what remedy have we?" said the towns-men. "If Lancelot had been
here, these fellows would soon have been called to a reckoning. But,
alas, he is away."
"I may do something in his service," answered Tristram. "If I take his
place, I must defend his followers."
Thereupon he sent for his shield and spear, and rode in pursuit of the
two knights, whom he overtook before they had gone far.
"Turn, sir dastards," he cried, "and amend your misdeeds."
"What amends wish you?" asked one of the knights. "We are ready with
spear and sword to make good whatever we have done."
He rode against Tristram, but was met so sturdily in mid career that he
was thrust over his horse's tail. Then the other rode against him, and
was served in the same rough manner.
They rose as quickly as they could, drew their swords, and challenged
him to battle on foot.
"You shall tell me your names," he said, sternly. "I warn you that if it
comes to sword-play you will find more than your match. Yet you may have
that in your lineage which will keep you from my hands, however much you
deserve punishment for your evil deeds."
"As for our names, we dread not to tell them. We are Agravaine and
Gaheris, brothers to the good knight Gawaine, and nephews of King
Arthur."
"For Arthur's sake, then, I must let you pass unscathed. Yet it is a
crying shame that men of such good blood as you should play the part of
murderers. You slew among you a better knight than the best of your kin,
Lamorak de Galis, and I would to God I had been by at that time."
"You would have gone the same road," said Gaheris.
"Not without more knights to do it than you had in your murderous crew."
With these words he turned from them and rode back towards Joyous Gard.
When he had gone they regained their horses, and feeling themselves safe
in the saddle their courage returned.
"Let us pursue this boaster," they said, "and see if he fares so much
better than Lamorak."
They did so, and when they came near Tristram, who was jogging slowly
along, Agravaine cried,--
"Turn, traitor knight!"
"Traitor in your teeth!" cried Tristram, in a rage. "I let you off too
cheaply, it seems." And drawing his sword, he turned upon Agravaine and
smote him so fiercely on the helm that he fell swooning from his horse,
with a dangerous wound.
Then he turned to Gaheris and dealt him a blow that in like manner
tumbled him from his saddle to the earth. This done, Tristram turned and
rode into the castle, leaving them like dead men in the road.
Here he told La Belle Isolde of his several adventures. When he spoke
of Dinadan, she asked,--
"Was it not he that made the song about King Mark?"
"The same," answered Tristram. "He is the greatest jester at Arthur's
court, but a good knight withal, and I know no man whom I like better as
a comrade."
"Why did you not bring him with you?"
"No need of that. He is seeking me through this country, and there is no
fear that he will give up the search lightly."
As they spoke, a servant came and told Tristram that a knight-errant had
entered the town, and described the device on his shield.
"That is our man now," said Tristram. "That is Dinadan. Send for him,
Isolde, and you shall hear the merriest knight and the maddest talker
that you ever spoke with. I pray you to make him heartily welcome, for
he is a cherished friend of mine."
Then Isolde sent into the town with a message to Dinadan, begging that
he would come to the castle and rest a while there, at a lady's wish.
"That will I, with a good will," answered Dinadan. "I were but a churl
else."
He hastened to mount and ride to the castle, and here he was shown to a
chamber where he laid aside his armor. Then he was brought into the
presence of La Belle Isolde, who courteously bade him welcome.
"Whence, come you, and what name do you bear?" she asked.
"Madam," he answered, "I am from King Arthur's court, and am one of the
small fry of Round Table Knights. My name is Dinadan."
"And why came you hither?"
"I am seeking my old friend and comrade, Sir Tristram, who I am told has
made his way to this country."
"That I cannot answer for," said Isolde. "He may and he may not be here.
Sir Tristram will be found where love leads him."
"I warrant me that. Your true lover has no will of his own, but is led
like an ox, with a ring in his nose. I marvel what juice of folly gets
into the pates of these lovers to make them so mad about the women."
"Why, sir," said Isolde, "can it be that you are a knight and no lover?
I fancy that there can be no true man-of-arms who seeks not by his deeds
to win the smiles of the fair."
"They who care to be fed on smiles are welcome to them, but I am not
made of that fashion," answered Dinadan. "The joy of love is too short,
and the sorrow thereof too long, to please my fancy."
"Say you so? Yet near here but to-day was the good knight Sir Bleoberis,
he who fought with three knights at once for a maiden's sake, and won
her before the king of Northumberland."
"I know him for a worthy fellow," said Dinadan, "as are all of
Lancelot's kindred. Yet he has crotchets in his head, like all that
crew."
"Now, I pray you," said Isolde, "will you not do me the grace to fight
for my love with three knights that have done me great wrong? As you
are a knight of King Arthur's, you can never say me nay in such a duty."
"Can I not?" cried Dinadan. "This much I will say, madam, that you are
as fair a sample of womankind as ever I saw, and much more beautiful
than is my lady Queen Guenever. And yet, heaven defend me, I will not
fight for you against three knights; and would not, were you Helen of
Troy herself."
At these words, and the odd grimace which he made, La Belle Isolde burst
into a merry peal of laughter, and broke out with,--
"I know you better than you fancy, Sir Dinadan. And well you keep up
your credit of being a merry fellow. You are very welcome to my castle,
good sir."
They had much more of gameful conversation together, and Dinadan was
treated with all honor, and slept serenely at the castle that night. But
Tristram took good care to keep out of his sight.
Early the next day Tristram armed himself and prepared to ride away,
saying to the Lady Isolde that he would contrive to meet with Dinadan,
and would ride with him to Lonazep, where the tournament was to be held.
He promised also to make arrangements to provide her with a good place
from which to see the passage-at-arms. Then he departed, accompanied by
two squires, who bore his shield and a brace of great and long spears.
Shortly afterwards Dinadan left the castle, bidding a merry adieu to the
lady, and rode so briskly forward that he soon overtook Tristram. He
knew him at sight for his yesterday's comrade, and made a sour grimace
at beholding him.
"So," he said, "here again is my easy-going friend, who wears his armor
for a holiday parade. You shall not get off so lightly to-day, fellow.
You shall joust with me, despite your head."
"Faith, I am not eager," said Tristram, "but a wilful man will have his
way; so let us have it over, if fight we must."
Then they rode at each other, and Dinadan broke a spear on Tristram's
shield, but Tristram purposely missed him.
Dinadan now bade him draw his sword.
"Not I," he answered. "What makes you so warlike? I am not in the humor
to fight."
"You shame all knights by your cowardice."
"So far as that goes, it troubles me little," said Tristram. "Suppose,
my good sir, you take me under your protection. Though I bear arms I
shall gladly accept the patronage of so worthy a knight as you."
"The devil deliver me of you!" cried Dinadan. "You are a fellow of
goodly build, and sit your horse like a warrior; but heaven knows if you
have blood or water in your veins. What do you propose to do with those
great spears that your squire carries?"
"I shall give them to some good knight at the tournament. If you prove
the best there, you are welcome to them."
As they thus conversed they saw a knight-errant in the road before them,
who sat with spear in rest as if eager to joust.
"Come," said Tristram, "since you are so anxious for a fight, yonder is
your man."
"Shame betide you for a dastard," cried Dinadan. "Fight him yourself.
You can't get more than a fall."
"Not so. That knight seems a shrewish fellow. It will need a stronger
hand than mine to manage him."
"Good faith, then, here's to teach you a lesson," said Dinadan, and he
rode fiercely against the other knight, with the unlucky result that he
was thrust from his horse, and fell headlong to the earth.
"What did I tell you?" said Tristram. "You had better have taken a
lesson from my prudence, and let that good fellow alone."
"The fiends take you, coward!" cried Dinadan, as he started to his feet
and drew his sword. "Come, sir knight, you are my better on horseback,
let us have it out on foot."
"Shall it be in love or in anger?" said the other.
"Let it be in love. I am saving all my anger for this do-nothing who
came with me."
"Then I pray you to tell me your name."
"Folks call me Dinadan."
"Ah, and I am your comrade Gareth. I will not fight with an old friend
like Dinadan."
"Nor I with you, by my faith!" cried Dinadan, seizing Gareth's hand and
giving it a warm pressure. "Beaumains is safe from my spear. Here is a
chap now, if you want to try your skill; but if you can get him to fight
you must first learn the art of converting a coward into a man of
valor."
Tristram laughed quietly at this, and bided his time. Nor was there long
to wait, for just then a well-armed knight rode up, on a sturdy horse,
and put his spear in rest as he approached.
"Now, my good sirs," said Tristram, "choose between yourselves which
will joust with yonder knight; for I warn you that I will keep clear of
him."
"Faith, you had better," said Gareth. "Leave him to me."
And he rode against the knight but with such ill-fortune that he was
thrust over his horse's croup.
"It is your turn now," said Tristram to Dinadan. "Honor requires that
you should avenge your comrade Gareth."
"Honor does, eh? Then reason does not, and I always weigh reason against
honor. He has overturned a much bigger fellow than I, and with your kind
permission I will not stir up that hornet."
"Aha, friend Dinadan, your heart fails you after all your boasting. Very
well, you shall see what the coward can do. Make ready, sir knight."
Then Tristram rode against the victorious knight, and dealt him so
shrewd a buffet that he was thrust from his horse.
Dinadan looked at this in amazement. Was this the fellow that professed
cowardice and begged protection? "The cunning rogue," he said to
himself, "has been making game of me. The rascal! where has he learned
the art of turning my weapons on myself?"
The dismounted knight rose to his feet in anger, and drawing his sword,
challenged Tristram to a fight on foot.
"First, tell me your name?" asked Tristram.
"My name is Palamides."
"And what knight hate you most?"
"I hate Sir Tristram to the death. If we meet, one of us must die."
"You need not go far to seek him. I am Tristram de Lyonesse. Now do your
worst."
At this Dinadan started, and struck his hand sturdily on his knee, like
one who has had a shock of surprise. Nor was Palamides less astonished,
and he stood before Tristram like one in a sudden revulsion of feeling.
"I pray you, Sir Tristram," he said, "to forgive my ill-will and my
unkind words. You are a noble knight and worthy of the love of all
honorable warriors. I repent my truculent temper towards you, and, if I
live, will rather do you service than assail you."
"I know your valor well," answered Tristram, "and that it is anything
but fear makes you speak so. Therefore I thank you much for your kind
words. But if you have any shreds of ill-will towards me I am ready to
give you satisfaction."
"My wits have been astray," answered Palamides. "There is no just reason
why we should be at odds, and I am ready to do you knightly service in
all things you may command."
"I take you at your word," cried Tristram, as he grasped Palamides by
the hand. "I have never been your enemy, and know none whom I would
rather have as a friend."
"Would you?" cried Dinadan. "And would have me as your fool, mayhap? By
my knightly faith, you have made a sweet butt of me! I came into this
country for your sake, and by the advice of Sir Lancelot, though he
would not tell me where to find you. By Jove's ears, I never thought to
find you masquerading as a milk-brained coward."
"He could have told you," said Tristram, "for I abode within his own
castle. As for my little sport, friend Dinadan, I cry you mercy."
"Faith, it is but one of my own jests, turned against me," said Dinadan,
with a merry laugh. "I am pinked with my own dart. I forgive you, old
comrade; but I vow I did not know you had such a jolly humor."
"It comes to one in your company," said Tristram, laughing. "The disease
is catching."
And so the four knights rode gayly onward, conversing much as they went,
and laying their plans for the tournament.